Blah blah blah. 13 Mars 2017 / 21:44 / LIFE OF HILMA / Permalink / 1 Dear diary, today I caught a glimpse of my true self. Me without the chemicals that keep me going. I panicked. I was so scared of myself. I mean, how could I possibly trust a 7 years old version of myself to handle a situation? Now, after the medicine's kicked in again I'm pissed. I've actually felt bad for myself these last few months. Allowing myself to be less than half of what I can be. Who the fuck am I to feel bad about myself now when I've been 3k times worse? I'm basically dancing on clouds right now. I shouldn't even be thinking about crying. I mean, I wanna live. Just that little fact makes it pathetic to claim that I'm "fighting". Gaaah I just hate that I hate myself so much. Fuck. Now you're more than welcome to give me champagne and Samboka shots.