jay?

I am in love with the idea of love.
That makes me vulnerable. 

If it was not for my love of love, I would not have been hurt by it so many times. 

I would do almost anything for love.

I met this guy. He was fun, intelligent and very lovable. He did not have sex with me, even though he wanted to. Because he cared for me, for my opinions and my feelings. He did not even kiss me without my permission. That one small act stopped me for caring about anything else about him. That one fact made me see a future with him. I knew, instantly, that I could love him, just because he saw me as a human being with emotions worth caring about. 

I guess it scared him off. That I... I do not know what I did. But it must have made me sound desperate. 

I have not been able to think about anything else but him ever since he left me - leaving me regretting that I let him leave. 

I do not know anything now. I have no idea of how love works. I can not read the signs. I feel like I am 10 years old. 

Fuck it. Feelings die. It is just a matter of time. He will be gone. 

~
My dogs love me. Thank God for that. 
We will see. 
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